Mamas of all kinds deserve a day to be recognized and (hopefully!) pampered. But what if all you feel like doing on Mother’s Day is crawling into a hole and ignoring the outside world because you’ve lost someone? Maybe you’ve experienced the loss of your mother or mother figure, maybe you’ve suffered pregnancy, infant, or neonatal loss. Perhaps you’ve lost a child, young or adult. Maybe you haven’t yet conceived and are struggling to become a mother. If you can relate to any or all of these, I hear you. I am here for you. I am holding space for you. I too grieve on Mother’s Day.

At 26, I lost my mom to stage IV colon cancer. She was only 47. (I wrote an essay for Mrs. Nipple on that here). The idea of my first Mother’s Day without her made me want to crawl into my room and not come out until Monday. While that would have been a-okay, a friend of mine who had lost her dad knew what to do for me. She made a plan with me and kept...

One of the core attributes of my methods here at The Joywell is connection. It’s the “C” in ACES! Putting together the framework for The Joywell method, ACES ,was inspired by my own experiences as well as those of my clients over the years. For example, my client, Katie (named changed for anonymity) came to me for help with anxiety. After a few sessions, we noted which situations were her biggest triggers. I think if we’re all honest with ourselves, the situations that made Katie anxious would trigger us all, especially in the times of COVID and isolation.

 Overstimulated: Katie is on a group text message chain that includes eleven women. ELEVEN. Not being able to keep up with and feel like she was contributing to this conversation in a meaningful way was not only causing Katie anxiety, but it was also causing her to avoid engaging with any of the women on the text, even when she did feel she had something to contribute.  Now, according to...

Growing up, I was often the odd girl out. You see, not only was I the biggest (both height and weight) of my friends, but overall, my family was so different from theirs. My mom was strict when it came to what I did with my spare time. She hated the idea of going to the mall or hanging out at a friend’s house. When friends came over to my house, my mom would take us to museums or to do some educational activity. You can imagine how popular my house was for hanging out purposes in middle school – though I do appreciate the cultural and scientific education nowadays – hah!

Being so different from my friends, both in personality and upbringing, often led to my being left out, and to some degree, missing out on the subtle rules of engagement imbued in middle school girls. For instance, I was (and still am) a total nerd. I love facts and science and am constantly learning how to apply everything I learn. In middle school, this meant that conversations about clothes and...